Famed for his poetic dexterity and lyrical adroitness, Shakespeare was also a great man for the insults.

The protagonists of some of his most famous works had the benefit of some fine top drawer verbal abuse at their disposal. Now, one website pays tribute to Willie’s withering ways with a dedicated Shakespearean insulter which will automatically generate any number of put downs to be used freely on colleagues and enemies alike.

This is a resource to be savoured. Next time your car is clamped imagine the satisfaction you will derive from referring to the clampee as a “mewling minnow” or a “Spleeny brazen-faced coxcomb”.

Or, if your sibling is being bullied in the playground you could direct them to leave their aggressors dumbfounded by firing off a swift volley of Shakespeare’s best – “you fishified, odiferous, doghearted canker-blossom. The most infectious pestilence upon thee.”

And, rumour has it that Shakespeare’s final draft of Romeo and Juliet might have been radically different if it hadn’t endured some last minute judiscious editing. “Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo……you burly-boned lily-livered basket-cockle.”

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This weeks Mini Bytes Weekend Recommend is the superby titled Cup of Tae Festival and to get you in the mood you should visit what’s proudly billed as “the premier web site for tea drinkers who are keen on sitting down and biscuits”.

There’s probably not much compeitition in the field but this couple have catered to their niche with amazing attention to detail – with biscuits of the week, biscuit reviews and biccy quizzes not to mention incisive coverage of jaffa cake development and breaking news concerning Japanese purple digestive biscuits.

It's all lovingly compiled by a couple who go under the alias of Nicey and the Wife. Nicey’s identity can only be guessed at but as for the Wife; well with no clergy to attend to, she’s indulged her tetleys fetish elsewhere. It has to be Mrs. Doyle.

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A cure for cancer, a new ozone layer, some interesting celebrities – these are things the world needs. What the world doesn’t need is a skateboarding bulldog called Tyson.

No ordinary mongrel, Tyson-the-skateboarding-bulldog is a self professed “skater who just happens to be a dog”. This is no gimmick, on his website you can watch videos of the dog who “lives to skate” and he’s actually quite good.

You’ll be wowed by this marvellous connection between bulldog and board from an animal with a clearly superior intellect. According to the site, Tyson-the-skateboarding-bulldog not only knows how to sit, lie down and shake but can also stand up, dance, jump and high-five.

Bad news, though, if you want to train your own skateboarding-pet-dog. Tyson’s masters maintain that Tyson taught himself and they can’t offer tips except to say “frequent rest and water breaks are a must”. That’s not much use.

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If you fancy something different the Mini Byte’s Weekend Recommend is the Western Vintage annual Road Run featuring 30 beautifully restored vintage vehicles in cross country action.

Participants in the rally should be looking online where there are some exciting re-design tips. An American website started the phenomenom with a Pimp My Tractor compeitition resulting in numerous outlandish designs.

One tractor has been re-fitted with Rolls Royce grille, chrome alloys, and fiery go faster speed stripes and looks like it could do nought to sixty in just under a season.

With Yummy Mummy’s hankering after ever bigger motors the tractor could be entering a fashionable phase. After years stuck toiling the land, the tractor is in demand. Famers, wash those spuds from your wheels, throw on some tractor heels…. move over Massy Ferguson’s – it’s time for Classy Ferguson..

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There’s not much we don’t know about Darth Vader. But what of his younger, less charismatic brother who it appears is the day shift manager of a grocery store.

The invented adventures of Darth’s sibling Chad have found notoriety on Youtube. Actually, we’re using the word “adventure” in it’s loosest form here.

Episode 1 sees Chad battling rebellious staff in his battle to finalise a weekend roster and Chad seems less interested in dominion over the galaxy and more interested in a more powerful laser checkout system.

Nonetheless, the apparent success of Chad Vader could encourage other Star Wars sibling spinoffs. Don’t be surprised if Dave Skywalker appears on Youtube or look out for the online video diary of Skobie Wan Kenobi – who, failing to live up to the example of his dashing, bearded brother, is forced to eke out a humiliating existence working as a fruit attendant in a smoothie bar.

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For the serial website reviewer, Godtube is literally manna from the heavens. It has oodles of content from heartfelt and hair-brained contributors who are united by one thing – a desire to express an opinion about the the man upstairs.

Under the banner Broadcast Him, Godtube is religion’s answer to You Tube and features tonnes of quasi religious video pods – some of which have to be seen to be believed.

Baby Got Book is a 4 minute music video which recasts Sir Mix A Lot’s Baby Got Back as an ode to the Bible.

“A word to the Christian sisters,

I can’t resist you

I’ll do God’s time with ya

But I gotta be straight

When I say I wanna pray

Til the break of day”.

If P Diddy ever needs a lyricist, he need look no further.

“So Ladies, Ladies

Do you want to save people from Hades”

And the bible bashing is optional for everyone. Upload a video about an Old Testament character for your chance to win a ten-day Israel extreme adventure to the Holy Land.

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