You can have a pet without the mess

Log on to this this site and you can create your very own virtual pet with it’s own distinct personality. Choose from the quiggle which looks like an overexcited frog or a korbat which seems to be a cute cross between a rabbit and a bat, there’s a horse with a mohawk and hundreds of others as well.

Once you’ve created your virtual pet you can take it walkies through the world of neopia. You could start at Neopia Central, do some shopping, divert to Faerieland or then explore Mystery Island. With over 70 million pet owners across the world it’s a huge online community with it’s own galaxy.

For the kids, it’s a playground for the imagination, for parents you don’t need to worry about toilet training and you definitely won’t need a pooper scooper.

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The Japanese may be known for cutting edge technology and gadgetry but its not all hand held cameras and mobile phones

Their work in the field of lavatories is seldom recognised. They were the first to pioneer the automatically raising lid the heated seat and now they’ve gone one better….with the musical toilet.

Yes, Japanese inventors Yoko have invented the toilet with it’s own built in mp3 player - the instruction video is in Japanese so it’s hard to gather exactly how it works but it appears to involve a mounted player playing this soothing music while you go about your business….

Of course, now you can spend your bathroom time singing you’re spilling - who knows this invention could lead to a new craze…anyone for potty karaoke

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Bad news reaches us from North Pole base camp

Who would have thought it but apparently Mrs Claus has got other things on her mind, that’s right according to the makers of this song she’s looking forward to her visit from a festive fancy man…
Oh well, I just hope Santa’s got a pre nup

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Learning how to play guitar can be a painful and lengthy process unless you take instruction from an online master

I am Fast Finger
The shy and retiring Fast Finger is a guitar maestro who can having you rolling like a stone in no time at all. He appears to reside in some kind of Amazonian forest and his lessons take on a somewhat spiritual, mystical bent..

Once in Fast Fingers’ leafy zone, the keys on your keyboard will correspond to different guitar riffs - press individual keys to play individual chords….or lots of key to make an awful racket. You don’t have to any musical knowledge to become an expert axe wielder.

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With exams on the horizon, here’s another site which takes science out of the classroom and into the not so real world of Hollywood movies.

According to the site, thanks to the motion picture industry producing bad physics, the minds of children and their ability to master vectors are at stake. They point out the difference between the big screen and the real world courtesy of the laws of physics.

Cars don’t explode immediately on impact, bullets don’t give off a flash of light, and if James Bond really did jump through a plate glass window, Q would be recruiting 008. The site even has some recommendations for studying movie physics in the classroom although you should really only study these ideas in theory, working them out in practice might be slightly dangerous.

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This mock commercial has been cirulated online and appears to offer the perfect solution to what is a universal human problem...

The amazing Roberts Toot Tone uses patented smart chip technology to turn embarrassing body noises into recognizable ring tones.

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Ah, the typical Irish builder - stonewashed denims hitched at halfmast, breakfast roll carried nonchalantly under the oxter, five o’clock shadow flecked with white matt emulsion, lumberjack shirt carrying three kilos worth of household debris – not exactly Brad Pitt.

But with a construction boom in full swing, good builders are hard to find and beggars can’t be choosers.
Now thanks to one website you can search for tradesmen in your area who are rated according to timekeeping, friendliness, work quality, value for money etc. or give your own builder ratings. If you’d had your walls plastered at a 30 degree angle or your bathroom grouted with chewing gum don’t get mad, get even and tell the world about your bad experience. Or, if you’re researching renovations it’s a great place to start your home work.

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If there’s anything worse than a bad idea it’s an unfinished bad idea.

One website has dedicated itself to the half baked idea and thousands of would be boffins have submitted their flights of fancy with no basis in reality.

Spray on Stubble is available in a variety of tones to match any complexion, it’s sharp edged silica, together with a light binder which adheres to your cheeks. You could be cool as a cucumber, proudly sporting a softly droning heli hat complete with counter-rotating fans which would hover a few inches over your scalp.

For the home, there’s a heat seeking ashtray – a walking tripod that scuttles towards your fag ash. And, finally the idea for half baked idea for cake in a can would be better off not being cooked at all.

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Pioneered by the Queen of Countdown and the thinking mans bit of crumpet, Carol Vorderman, Sudoku has quickly become an addictive quiz sensation and is now widely regarded as the fastest growing puzzle in the world.

It’s not surprising then that one enterprising food dressing company has capitalized on it’s success and come up with a novel online alternative called Foodoku. In Foodoku you’ve got 9 squares, 9 ingredients and 9 perfect sandwiches to be made without duplicating the same ingredients in the same grid, horizontal or vertical line.

In fact, it’s just like playing traditional sodoku except you’re using salads instead of boring old numbers. At a time when obesity is scarcely out of the headlines maybe the ideal replacement for a chip butty could be a Foodoku quiz butty.

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Since their invention, PC processing power has come a long long way.

But externally, most computers are encased in boring black, grey and beige fascia exteriors. One website is doing something to light up your desktops life by listing the top 10 weirdest keyboards ever.

With a nifty twist, The flexible Roll Up Keyboard can be rolled into the size and shape of a small baguette. The Twiddler wraps around the wrist and looks like something Buck Rogers would use to avoid enemy fire. The laser keyboard projects a virtual keyboard onto your table and then interprets your finger movements across it’s surface.

Not forgetting the sci fi exoticness of the orbitouch or the precision of the datahand. With so much choice the keyboard makeover could soon be in vogue, there could even be a resulting MTV spin off, Pimp My Type.

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How about the ultimate customised gift this Mothers Day

The worlds premier personalized song company helps you to create a tailored mothering Sunday song of praise. Type in your details online and let their syrupy Michael Bolton soundalike deliver the perfect song of praise to be emailed to your mother.

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It’s taken years of painstaking research but at last somebody has come up the worlds best must have invention - a teenager repellent.

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With property prices all over Ireland spiraling out of control, lots of people are considering buying further afield.

If you really want to join the it crowd forget Spain, Portugal or the South of France and consider a des res that’s really far out….like the moon. One website promises the planets most original products including extraterrestrial land deeds for the moon. 10 acres of the big cheese will cost you just over 100 euro and entitle you to your own special land deeds and lunar constitution….

Or you could plump for a variety package with land on the moon, mars and venus. So, next time somebody asks what do you buy the person who has everything the answer is a piece of a 4.6 billion year old ball of rock….

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Some say it’s the sign of the devil - Liam’s got one, Noel’s got one, Eric Cantona’s got one...

It's not a fiery temper or a violent disposition - nope it’s the monobrow. Tthat hairy caterpillar like growth across the top of their eyes. Some may regard it as grotesque and freakish thing to only have one eyebrow but this site revels in the joy of the singular eyebrow. There’s pics of the week featuring hapless monobrowed members of the public, mono movies featuring unified brows and of course, the ultimate eyebrow board game - monopoly

If you’re afflicted go to the links sections and find the site where you can get straight faced tips for grooming your unibrow…..try tweezing, plucking, waxing, electrolysis or laser treatment. And, for those of us not endowed another site sells…..the monobrow toupee.

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Are you having trouble finding Mr Right and not as rich as you’d like to be…

Well, there’s an online dating agency that could solve all your problems. They provide a unique service called marry an ugly millionaire.

Logically the site argues many ugly people have other traits that make up for their lack of good looks – personality, charisma, dependability, caring and MASSIVE AMOUNTS OF MONEY. Fill in your details, choose from their database and you’re away. Just in case you think it’s a bit of a swizz the site says all marriages are covered by ninety day emotion-back guarantee. It could be a great way to find your perfect partner. And, you know what, they may not be bling bling but who cares so long as they’re ching ching

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